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Thoughts of A Millennial Black Blogger

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Updated: Aug 5, 2020

What a crazy week it has been! I wholeheartedly intended to have this post go out on Wednesday, January 15, to coincide with my sorority's Founders' Day, but today I'm led down a different path. I want to talk about the importance of your sista-friends (also known as your "tribe," "day ones," or "sisters from another mister"). Every girl should have a solid crew to celebrate success with or be a shoulder to cry on when life feels unbearable. I live by the philosophy that best friends don't exist because there's value in each person you choose to invest a significant amount of time and memories. However you rationalize your "girl squad" it is crucial that you feel unjudged for your decisions and understand we are all experiencing life one day at the time. There is no right or wrong way to live when it's the first try for all of us.

From the occasional pregnancy scare to bad breakups, the dramas of high school and college now seem like a walk in the park compared to the real work of adulthood that is feeling unfulfilled in our careers, facing our insecurities, and losing our loved ones. The journey of protecting my energy began by releasing those bad connections to fair-weather friends. Still as the dust settles, I realize engaging in the act of positive reciprocity with my sista-friends is as equally vital. The Sagittarius-savior in me use to always want to Olivia Pope my friends through any issue they faced whether they asked or not—always on ready to tell it like it is. I am learning instead to determine if my position in the conversation is to be a safe space to vent or actually to give my opinion. Being an effective communicator begins with thoughtfully listening, and I think we all have been offenders of looking to respond rather than actually listening.

I say all the time that I'm married to my friends until a man treats me as good as they do, and I mean that! My girls are just as integral to my solid foundation as my family, and that is why I call them sista-friends. I want to see us all win! If the tides change and I lose one or two along the way, I am always comforted by our memories and hold no ill will against them because some people are in your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. No matter the case, appreciate each friend for who they are intrinsically, love on them when you can, and reach out to them when they cross your mind... that's God's way of reminding you it's been too long since you’ve last spoken.


Thanks for reading this week!

xo Mia Shantel


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